A Dental Distraction

Have you noticed without exception
Fillings have a predilection
For falling out on Christmas Eve
Or on a Friday — after six
So there’s no chance to get them fixed
Of temporary crowns be warned
And this advice you must not scorn
If biting into your Big Mac
You find yourself with — just a gap
This will undoubtedly occur
Thanksgiving Eve or just before
Some special function or engagement
Whereat your dental re-arrangement
Will be the subject of much amusement
For the assembled crowd.

Oh the agony, Oh the grief,
Inflicted on us by our teeth!
Shatter my heart, scatter my ashes
Preserve me from my painful gnashers.

by Lorna Bain — December 29th, 1985