Nowt but Mere Brass (Untitled)

There once was a lad called Joe
Who was incredibly slow
He was careless of habit as well
And the stink as you passed him was — well
Like my sister Girtie whose nasty — and thirty said

“Joe is there owt we can do
To keep out the worthless like you?”
Says Joe as ’ee spits in the gutter
“Aye lass it be kind that it mutter
Wi’ you being such higher class
An me having nowt but mere brass.”

They were wed right away truth to tell
Which goes just to show that to smell
And ’ave no education’s as good a foundation
For love between two of a kind
Whether putrid of body or mind
As long as old Joe had some brass
He was bound to attract ’im a lass.

by Lorna Bain — December 29th, 1985